The Well-Crafted Mom
  • Home
  • Book
  • Blog
  • Coaching
  • Massage
  • About
  • Media Page
  • Events
  • Contact

Christmas is Coming

12/15/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
The critical voices in my head are even louder this time of year. Their chant – not enough, not enough, not enough – leads me to click on ads in Facebook for stocking stuffers, to anxiously review my teen and tween's sparse wish lists for ideas of what to buy for them, to wake up each morning worried that Christmas will be a disappointment because what the boys really, really want (gaming laptops to replace their basic PCs) won't be under the tree.

I do all my usual techniques for calming my anxious mind: breathwork that I call "even keel breathing" (It has a fancier name and instructions on how to do it here); reframing the stories that are on replay in my head; and asking myself (and hearing my coach's voice say) "Is that true, Kathleen?" when I catch my thoughts traveling downward into a negative spiral.

- Is it true that Christmas will be a disappointment for the boys?
- Is it true that I need to overextend myself financially to make people happy?
- Is it true that the measure of everyone's happiness is proportionate to the number of presents under the tree?

My husband, Bill, doesn't wrestle with this kind of thinking. He shrugs his shoulders when my voice gets high and squeaky with stress. "It is what it is," he says, not unkindly but matter of factly. I often feel like this isn't a good enough response. I want a reassuring voice on the outside to drown out the louder, doom-and-gloom voices on the inside.

I want to hear that everything is going to be okay.


No one can make that promise. Not about Christmas. Not about anything.

Okay starts on the inside. The more times that I examine my thoughts and realize they're not completely true, the more that I do even keel breathing, and the more I choose to not get worked up about my worries about the future or regrets about the past, the quieter the critical inner voices become.

I wish I could assure you (and me) that changing the tone of your inner voices is easy. It isn't. But just like learning any new skill, you (and I) will keep getting better with practice. You'll get stronger each and every time you stop the not enough chant mid-song and replace it with a kinder tune, maybe one that softly sings, I'm doing my personal best.

And your personal best, sweetie, is more than enough.

xo
Kathleen

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    The Well-Crafted Mom

    About

    I'm an author, certified life coach, and certified massage therapist who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband (William White of Happy Baby Signs), and our two sons, plus a rescue poodle, and a tabby cat that rolls over and fetches.

    Picture

    Archives

    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015

    See more blog posts at Touch Blue Sky

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed


    Praise

    "I wanted to say that I've been reading your blog for a year now and your words and advice have helped me through difficult times with my kids. I've changed from a constantly stressed mom to someone who cherishes every moment spent with the kids (and with a lot less yelling) and has learned to take on less but appreciate more. So thank you."
    Grace Leung, San Francisco

Freebies

Coaching + Craft
Newsletter

The Book

The Well-Crafted Mom
About

Events

Support

Contact
Privacy Policy
© COPYRIGHT 2013 - 2018
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Get Your Coaching + Craft Guide
Photo used under Creative Commons from DaveCrosby