I love having a full schedule. But then, I worry. I worry about being too busy. I worry about not having time for my family or for taking care of myself (which historically has always the first thing to get thrown out of the schedule when I’m trying to fit a client into an already jam-packed calendar). When my massage therapy practice was at its peak, I continually said yes and yes and yes to more work, more back-to-back clients, more of taking care of my clients and my family and everybody else – and less taking care of me.
I ended up having to take a year off from providing massage because my hands hurt so much.
Worrying about what might happen has kept me stuck. I realized I wasn’t reaching out to share my new coaching program with more moms because I was trying to decide how many clients I could see in a week and still be able to sit down to dinner with my family. I hadn’t updated my website to share my amazing new body therapy treatment because I worried that if people get as excited about the possibilities of this treatment as I am, I’ll have to steal time from my writing, creative, date night, girlfriend, dance class schedule to make room.
Silly, isn’t it?
When I looked at my keeping-me-stuck thinking from an objective point of view, it made no sense.
Holding this objective point of view for your own life is called being The Watcher in the coaching world. When you can bring kind, nonjudgmental awareness to your thoughts, emotions, and actions, you’re better able to create solutions, get unstuck, and move forward.
Being The Watcher meant understanding that I needed a schedule. This has always been my first step, ever since I was in high school. My past is littered with schedules where I’ve mapped out (and often color coded) blocks of time – fitting in work time, family time, creative time, writing time, downtime, date night time, girlfriend time…
A place for everything and everything in its place. More or less. Of course the unexpected often happens (so much so that it really shouldn’t be unexpected) but the schedule remains a foundation that I can return to, bringing order and routine to calm the chaos of everyday life.
It more or less all fit into a schedule.
And then right away I was tested.
A brand new client suggested Mondays for our three coaching sessions that will follow her private mini-retreat. Smack dab in the middle of my designated writing block.
This sparked an inner battle between what I call in The Well-Crafted Mom book the Mean Manager and the Kind Caretaker. The Mean Manager told me that I was being selfish. She pointed out all of the places where I had blocked off time for “frivolous” activities. She reminded me that scheduling this client would only take three Mondays away from the writing block. Only three. I could certainly write around that.
The Kind Caretaker sat me down and reminded me of another one of my clients, who I’ll call S. S has been taking my advice about self care to heart. She’s a self-employed mom who is homeschooling her two kids so there’s no doubt that she’s busy. Every moment of every day is filled. And yet … she’s been finding time for herself, for the things that help her to feel happy and healthy.
And the result of her focusing time on herself? Her business is booming.
She knows why she’s all of a sudden so busy and I know, too: It’s her energy. It’s not only that she has more energy to bring to her business because she’s exercising, eating well, and enjoying her life. Her business is booming because the energy she’s bringing to her clients is clean – not resentful, not overwhelmed, not full of worry.
All of her clean energy works like a magnet to draw more goodness in – good clients, good relationships, good work, and good times.
And, she's become really skilled at saying no to what doesn't feed her soul or feed her family (so her clean energy stays that way).
Using my lovely client as inspiration, I suggested days other than Mondays to my new client. We found times for her follow-up sessions that work for both of us.
And on Monday morning, I sat down to write, putting my thoughts down on the page, using that clean energy to draw more goodness in.
Want some help figuring out what comes next and how to work through the obstacles that are in your way? Join me for some coaching…
• There’s still room at the next moms’ mini-retreat this Saturday, August 13th. We’ll be talking about ways to get unstuck and how to move the obstacles that get in your way. Here’s the link to register: http://conta.cc/29PM0lr
• I have two spots left for moms in my private mini-retreat program this month. We’ll work together to figure out what’s next for you, build a plan, and you’ll create a vision board that will be your inspirational map. Plus, you’ll get three follow-up coaching sessions to help you stay on track. Interested? Send me an email to set up a call to see if this program is a right fit for you.