The critical voices in my head are even louder this time of year. Their chant – not enough, not enough, not enough – leads me to click on ads in Facebook for stocking stuffers, to anxiously review my teen and tween's sparse wish lists for ideas of what to buy for them, to wake up each morning worried that Christmas will be a disappointment because what the boys really, really want (gaming laptops to replace their basic PCs) won't be under the tree.

I do all my usual techniques for calming my anxious mind: breathwork that I call "even keel breathing" (It has a fancier name and instructions on how to do it here); reframing the stories that are on replay in my head; and asking myself (and hearing my coach's voice say) "Is that true, Kathleen?" when I catch my thoughts traveling downward into a negative spiral.

- Is it true that Christmas will be a disappointment for the boys?
- Is it true that I need to overextend myself financially to make people happy?
- Is it true that the measure of everyone's happiness is proportionate to the number of presents under the tree?

My husband, Bill, doesn't wrestle with this kind of thinking. He shrugs his shoulders when my voice gets high and squeaky with stress. "It is what it is," he says, not unkindly but matter of factly. I often feel like this isn't a good enough response. I want a reassuring voice on the outside to drown out the louder, doom-and-gloom voices on the inside.

I want to hear that everything is going to be okay.

No one can make that promise. Not about Christmas. Not about anything.

Okay starts on the inside. The more times that I examine my thoughts and realize they're not completely true, the more that I do even keel breathing, and the more I choose to not get worked up about my worries about the future or regrets about the past, the quieter the critical inner voices become.

I wish I could assure you (and me) that changing the tone of your inner voices is easy. It isn't. But just like learning any new skill, you (and I) will keep getting better with practice. You'll get stronger each and every time you stop the not enough chant mid-song and replace it with a kinder tune, maybe one that softly sings, I'm doing my personal best.

And your personal best, sweetie, is more than enough.

xo
Kathleen

Every January, I host vision board workshops for moms. They’re my most popular mini-retreats. The workshops are fun and also enlightening, too. I coach moms at my vision board workshops to not just tear pictures out of magazines of new cars, beautiful destinations, and shiny objects that they’d like to have. Instead, I lead a meditation at the beginning of the workshop to help moms get in touch with their inner guides – the wise voice within – to help choose what words and images get selected to be on the vision board.

Throughout your life, you probably have heard your inner voice nudging you to do something that didn’t quite make sense or to push yourself in a way that was more than a little out of your comfort zone, like talking to a stranger while waiting for class to start – and then she ended up being your best friend. Or saying yes to an evening out with friends when you were feeling tired and thinking about staying home – and then meeting the person who became the love of your life.

Looking back, it’s easy to see those moments that changed you, those times when you listened to your intuition and big events happened, especially when those changes happened when your life felt, well, maybe more like a life. As a grown-up, if you’re living a life that’s filled with the same old routines, or living a life that feels little, narrow, and unremarkable, it’s hard to believe that your inner voice has something to say. Or if she does, that it could be more than Don’t waste your money on that. Buy the generic brand, while you’re standing in the cereal aisle at the supermarket.

Trust me, your wise inner guide always has something important to say. But this voice gets quiet when you stop listening, or when you hear the voice urging you to do something that sounds ridiculous, unimportant, or a waste of your precious time, and you choose to ignore it.

Creating a vision board helps you to get clear on what your inner wise woman wants. Whether it’s a feeling, an attitude, or an experience, the collage is a way to hear what your deepest self desires. In past workshops, my clients have made gorgeous, fanciful, and creative vision boards. As they leave, I tell them to hang their vision boards in a visible location as a reminder of what their essential self wants to tell them.

For most people, that’s where the vision board project ends.

But creating the vision board is only the beginning.

My inner voice – and the inner voices that my clients hear – always ask us to do something.

Get outside. Call an old friend. Make a right turn. Go out with the girls. Pull out the art supplies.

The vision board is just your starting place.

The next step is to do.

This past Fall, I coached moms in one-on-one vision board workshops and then in three follow-up sessions. By watching my clients, I learned that making a vision board isn’t enough.

I coached moms to help them work through whatever obstacles were in their paths, whether it was a lack of time, a lack of confidence, or a lack of direction. The moms transformed their vision boards from a two-dimensional piece of cardboard with words and pictures glued onto it into little steps and big leaps forward in their real lives.

And real things happened: new jobs, new focus on creating community, new ways of refreshing a stale marriage, new confidence and clarity, and more changes.

Is it your turn to transform your vision board into real life change?

Make a vision board with me at one of my workshops in January and you’ll be eligible to sign up for the Manifest 2017 program that follows. For three weeks after the vision board workshop, you’ll get support for using your vision board as a starting place for manifesting what you – and your inner guide – want in 2017.

In small group support calls, you’ll learn new ways to work through whatever is in the way of what you want. You’ll get real-time answers to your questions in a private Facebook community, plus you’ll be inspired and supported by the other mamas in your group. In the Manifest 2017 program, you’ll also get a private session with me for in-depth coaching and solutions tailored just for you.

I’m keeping the group deliberately small so space in my Vision Board workshops and the Manifest 2017 program is limited. Since this is a brand new program, I’m offering it at a deep discount, too. To register or for more information, go to thewellcraftedmom.com/mini-retreats. I hope you can join us to bring to life what you really truly want in 2017.

If you have questions about the program or about working with me, feel free to email me and we’ll set up a time to chat.

Hugs!
Kathleen