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This is What My Personal Best Looks Like

12/20/2017

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My house is a mess. This is the view of my dining room table. What you can't see are boxes of ornaments for the Christmas tree that's up but only strung with lights; stockings, and other decorations for our house that are still not up; and the scuba equipment that's "still drying" over by the front door, waiting for a place to be cleared out in the garage.
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It wouldn't be so bad except this is the same view that my massage therapy clients and in-person coaching clients see as they head up the stairs to my office.

I should be embarrassed. 

Earlier today, as I looked down at the mess from the stairs, I remembered when my kids were in elementary school, their teachers would ask, "Is this your personal best?" The phrase came home from school with them and I adopted it as my own. When the laundry wasn't done, everybody was hungry (including me) and dinner was far from being ready, and the house smelled like cat pee because no one (me) had cleaned it out in a long while, I'd shout out loud to no one in particular: "This is what my personal best looks like." 
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I'm reviving this phrase and using it as my mantra from now until well into the New Year.

This is what my personal best looks like:

• I'm not happy with the gifts I bought for my teenage nephews. I could purchase gift cards from Amazon and send them off in addition to the already-mailed presents to make me feel better. But I'm not going to. The gifts are imperfect but given with love. 

This is what my personal best looks like:

• I'm struggling with the internal upheaval after an interaction with a mom of one of my sons didn't go well - at all. Another mom offered to have us all over for pizza to talk it out. I wanted to be the kind of person who was ready and eager for diving in and fixing things, but I'm not, especially right before Christmas. I don't have any extra inner strength for that. I suggested a date in 2018. Maybe I'll be ready then.

This is what my personal best looks like:

• I feel pulled in so many different directions. Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood calls this feeling contaminated time. When I'm with my kids, I'm thinking about marketing the new infant massage class, renewing our health insurance, researching dog training for the not-quite housebroken new dog, numbly watching coverage of the s*!t show in Washington, and trying to finish a giant pile of chores and obligations that need to be crammed into whatever time is available. And when I'm working, I'm feeling guilty about not being available for dinner with my kids, not remembering to ask one of them about his math test, and having my attention be not quite there when I am there. 

My goal is to be fully present for what is right in front of me, whether it's a tight trapezius muscle on a massage therapy client or my son explaining the piece he'll need to play for his placement test in January.
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My life looks messy. Most days it feels that way, too. But I'm doing my personal best.

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Making a Soul Map to your Very Best Life

12/4/2017

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Sometimes people use vision boards to showcase what they want - a nice car, pretty clothes, a new job, a vacation to Hawaii, more yoga classes on a regular basis ... 

These things are all nice. They don’t always lead to happiness, though. Often, they’re what you think you should be wanting, doing, or buying to be happy because that’s what everyone else is wanting, doing, or buying. Another person’s path to fulfillment, however, won’t ever be the same route for you. 

That’s why I lead my vision board workshops differently. Before you begin to cut out words and images from magazines, I ask you to get in touch with your inner guide - that wise, soulful voice within you who knows your heart’s desires. 

Once you place your inner guide in charge, your vision board becomes more than a collage of pretty pictures; it becomes your soul map to your very best life.

Do you remember when you were trying on wedding gown after wedding gown and then you knew which dress was the one? Maybe you felt tingly all over but surprisingly calm at the same time. Or when you were house hunting and you felt a certainty in your step as you walked to the front door of the house you knew would become your home. Or that sureness deep inside your bones when you saw your child for the first time and knew that you were put on this earth to love and nurture your baby.

These sensations are your inner guide’s way of navigating you toward your very best life. The more you tune into the way your body feels when you’re headed in the right direction, the clearer the path becomes. Once you know how your inner guide says yes, you can more easily choose what brings you happiness, contentment, peace, and all the other ways you want to feel.

Would you like to build your soul map for 2018? Come to one of three vision board workshops I’m offering in January. In a small group of women, you’ll learn how to listen to the quiet, confident voice inside you. Your vision board will be a manifestation of your inner guide’s wisdom and a beautiful reminder of how to make a life you love in the year to come. Visit thewellcraftedmom.com/mini-retreats for details and to register.

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    The Well-Crafted Mom

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    ​I'm an author, certified life coach, Tarot card reader, and HR professional (that's a combination!) I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband (William White of Happy Baby Signs), and our two sons, plus a rescue poodle, and a tabby cat that rolls over and fetches.

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